Dog Takes It On The Lamb
A dog in Wisconsin wasn't happy with the accommodations at an animal hospital, so he decided to check himself out and head home on his own.
A boxer name Bear was dropped off at the Brentwood Animal Hospital for boarding while his owner went away on vacation. At some point, he was able to break out of his kennel and escape through the front door of the hospital. From there, he walked home and took a seat on the front porch.
When his owner arrived home, she was shocked to find Bear waiting for her. She contacted the animal hospital, who told her that Bear had managed to open his kennel door, which was reinforced with plastic zip ties, and walked through the front door, which had been left open. Workers at the hospital say Bear is a bit of an escape artist and has gotten out before, which is why his kennel door was tied shut.
A Cheezy End
The family of a crusty old Pennsylvania guy showed themselves to be heroes by granting his dying wish -- to be buried with a couple of cheesesteak heroes from his favorite joint.
Richard Lussi died of heart failure, and we have a good idea why. His grandson says he always had a quick answer when asked what he wanted to take with him after he'd taken his last bite of life: "What do you think? Pat's cheesesteak! No onions, because they'll come back to haunt me." His grandkids obeyed his wishes and drove the two-and-a-half hours to Philly to pick up the sandwiches on the day before his funeral -- making sure to obey Richard's advice to "always buy two."
Pat's owner, Frank Olivieri Junior, said he was flattered and bewildered by someone choosing to be buried with his sandwiches. As for what the second cheesesteak might be for, he speculated, "Maybe it's a bribe for Saint Peter."
P Is For Policeman
A Florida man was pissed off at a cop for dragging him out of a bar for trespassing, so he decided to return the favor -- by peeing on himself and on the officer as he was being hauled off to jail.
Eric Eugene Cotter was ejected from Filthy's bar for causing a ruckus an hour or so before closing time on Wednesday, but as soon as the deputy who booted him drove away, he sneaked back into the joint for another round. On the second visit, the cop slapped a pair of cuffs on Cotter, who was unsteady on his feet and unable to control his bladder -- causing him to soil his own jeans.
As the officer tried to guide the 38-year-old to the cruiser, Cotter spat in his face. And, as he was being loaded into the back seat, he found another reservoir of number one, which he let loose in the officer's direction. He faces charges of disorderly intoxication, trespassing and battery.